Easing back into couplehood

After Jamaine was born, it was inevitable that Kernan and I spent less time together. Naturally, our days revolved around our baby. And I, for one, felt guilty leaving Jamaine behind while we enjoyed ourselves.

So aside from the occasional trips to the grocery, Kernan and I put our regular movie and dinner dates on hold.

I got wrapped up in taking care of the baby while Kernan got busy with work. This worked out quite well in the beginning, but my wife’s instinct told me we were approaching a potential danger zone: drifting apart.

I felt we needed to take a time out and make an effort to be together.

So when he asked me out on a date last Thursday (yes, we still ask each other out on dates), I said yes. After all, it was our monthsary and we wanted to celebrate the 4 years and 11 months we've been together.

After doing the groceries, we trooped to our favorite pizza place for a pasta and pizza feast. Kernan wanted to watch a movie after but I was missing Jamaine already so we decided to go home.

The next day we went on date number 2.

Since I wasn't ready to be too far from home, Kernan and I agreed to go to Gateway. In case of any emergency, we can just dash back to the house in 15 minutes or less. I know, sometimes I can't help but be a worry wart.

We had dinner at Pancake House where we saw this couple having dinner with their cute toddler. i thought in a few months time, we can bring Jamaine to all our fave eating spots too.

After dinner, we watched Spiderman 3 while sharing a chocolate shake and a bucket of popcorn, just like a typical movie date. I found some parts of the movie a bit dragging though. Then again, maybe I was still just a bit worried about being away from Jamaine that I couldn't wait for the movie to be over.

But worries aside, our movie date was great. We held hands and stole a few kisses. I snuggled close to him when I felt too cold and buried my head in his neck when the scenes got too violent for my taste. It was just like the old times.

When we arrived home, Jamaine was awake so we had time to play with her before going to bed.

I guess easing back into couplehood after having a baby can be quite a challenge. But I realized that if you want your marriage to prosper, you have to learn how to be a couple again.

Make time for each other. No doubt the baby will occupy most of your time, among other things. But as much as you nurture your baby, you need to nurture your relationship with your hubby as well.

Ban the guilt. I know this can be quite difficult. But taking time out from caring for your baby doesn't make you bad or neglectful parents.

Loosen up and have fun. It's so easy to ruin a night out by worrying too much. (I know I kinda failed in this area.) But you owe it to yourself and to your baby to have fun every once in awhile. Because when you come home upbeat, you'll communicate those good feelings to your baby too.

Of course, taking care of your baby should always be a top priority. But as with all things, the only way you can ever be good at taking care of another person is when you know how to take care of yourself.

Comments

ria said…
wow, what a pretty new layout! :) and i like your description of your date with your hubby. i gues it can be difficult when there's a little one but i think you guys will work out just fine. :)
Angel Jayme said…
Just needed a change of scenery. :)

Still trying to squeeze in dates every now and then 'cos I know pretty soon our baby will be tagging along.

:)
sexy mom said…
hey, you are on the right path...carry on!

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