Seeing the innocence

Kernan and I were getting settled at Nato’s for dinner when he suddenly noticed something.

“Mahal, ang baba na ng tiyan mo. Talagang malapit na lumabas si Jamaine.”

I’m one week away from turning nine months so Jamaine must be settling into exit position by now. No wonder she has been kicking and squirming a lot lately, she must be excited to go out already.

“Kinakabahan ako, parang I’m not ready to be a dad. Basta ayokong maging katulad ni _____”

I’m nervous too. And I certainly don’t want him to be like this “father” we know. I placed father in quotation marks because I don’t think it fits him at all.

He looks sweet to his daughter whenever we see him but at night we would often hear him shouting and cussing at her when she wakes up crying.

Cussing. The P.I. word. At a one year old little girl. I can’t believe how he can be so cruel. Sometimes he even calls her stupid when she makes a booboo.

There are times he and his wife would launch a shouting match and the kid would start crying. Even his wife would shout at their baby and tell her to shut up!

One morning, the wife asked Kernan how we were both doing. She candidly mentioned how she and her husband have been fighting often especially when their baby starts crying because both of them are too tired from work to take care of her.

She warned him that when Jamaine is born, we would probably be fighting and shouting at each other all the time too.

Kernan and I have promised each other that, no matter how tired or impatient we might get, we will never, ever, ever shout at Jamaine.

I have gone through a relatively easy pregnancy, but it certainly entailed a lot of pains and sacrifices too. And after nine months of taking care of our baby, I can never imagine myself shouting or cussing at her.

Nothing can ever justify verbal abuse. You might think words are fleeting and kids won’t probably remember you’re saying bad words at them anyway. But you’ll never know how those few hurtful words might scar them.

Well they have been pretty quiet and peaceful lately. I’m not sure if they still shout at each other or at their kid. I just hope that poor little girl grows up unscathed by all the shouting and cussing she was subjected to.

I remember reading this tip from Dr. Richard Carlson, author of one of my most favorite books “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff:” When kids are acting up or seem to be bothering you, "learn to see the innocence."

Sometimes grown-ups have the tendency to think kids are brats out to make your life miserable. But when you learn to see the innocence, you’ll realize that behind their badgering is a silent plea for your attention and affection.

Kernan and I may not be prepared to be the most perfect parents in the world, but we’ll definitely do everything we can to raise Jamaine in the most loving and caring environment possible.


Kernan got the weekend off so we’re going home later to Laguna. Yipee!

We haven’t been spending the past weekends together because Kernan has been taking in extra work to save for our “Jamaine Fund.” I am so thankful I have such a hardworking and committed husband. And I’m sure he’ll be a very responsible father as well.

Actually, he admitted he had an offer for another racket this weekend but he turned it down. He figured it’s time we took a break to enjoy our last weeks of “privacy” before the baby comes out.

It’s gonna be a special weekend. And tomorrow is a very special day.

Have a great weekend everyone!


guile said…
nice, cozy place you got here :)..
Angel Jayme said…
Hi Guile! Thanks for visiting my little haven. You're welcome to drop by anytime!


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