Musings over tuna pasta

I'm typing this in Infinity Gym's resto over a healthy serving of tuna pasta in tomato sauce and a banana split shake.

I'm still waiting for A who I'm supposed to meet in the GMA MRT station so we could go to the V Amihans' dinner with Sir Lito together. I'm maximizing my vacation and spending some quality time with my friends whom I've sadly neglected for the past months due to work.

Just yesterday, A and I had a shopping bonding session at Greenhills. That is, she did all the shopping while I did some window-shopping. And I’m proud to say that despite being surrounded by screaming sales and bargains and racks upon racks of beautiful clothes, I managed to exercise restraint.

I know I still have a large chunk of my bonus left in my savings account, but I’m really, really trying to save it so that I’ll have something to fall back on when I take my maternity leave in April. Unlike regular employees, I don’t have the privilege of a paid leave so it’s really up to me to make sure I don’t go hungry.

It was quite tempting to splurge at times, that I admit. But I only need to look down to see my reminder. I imagine Jamaine saying, “That top looks real pretty Mommy, but you know we need to save money.”

This is only one of the responsibilities that come with raising a family. And I know this will not be the first time I’ll be faced with a choice between what I want and what my family needs. But it’s something I’m slowly but surely learning to accept and to live with.

Yup, I guess I’ll still miss those momentary highs. The kind that comes from a shopping spree, buying a big ticket item or having an all-out vanity fair at the salon.

But these sure don’t compare to the bliss I feel whenever I feel my baby kicking in my tummy, watching her first ultrasound video, or getting loving hugs and kisses from my hubby every morning. These are real and lasting highs that make giving up the luxuries so worth it.

I was telling A how sometimes we want something so bad thinking that getting it would make us happy. But once you do get it, you realize it’s something you didn’t really need. And after the first thrill is gone, you realize getting what you wanted didn’t make you really happy. Then you go on searching for the next thing that will.

When Kernan and I got married, I felt happy knowing we’ll be together and loving each other for life. I felt so happy that I found myself wanting less and giving more.

Everyday, I wake up happily contented knowing that I’ve got everything I really need. And I’m thankful to God, I’ve got a blessed life indeed.

I'm off to our dinner date. Stories and pictures when I get back.


rach said…
hi jayme.. it's been awhile. Glad that your enjoying everything i.e. vacation, marriage and pregnancy...

Hope you had a joyous christmas and very exciting new year.

congrats ulit from me and robert :)

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