Drama Queen

I came home at 12 last night, sleepless and tired.

I was feeling a little depressed over how things are going. I've been extremely stressed for the past days what with tons of workload and the pressure of balancing (and pleasing) two bosses. We have also lost to the competition for a number of consecutive episodes and I guess everybody's morale has sunken more than it should.

I have also been spending less and less time with my family and Kernan. Now I'm the one who is always busy, so busy that at the end of the day there's just no time go out anymore. Home has been reduced to a sleeping quarter and my meals consist of drive-thru fastfood, swiftly eaten inside the pick up during the 10 minutes it takes to go back to the office.

I look at the five figures on my payslip and wonder if all this stress is worth the money.

Don't get me wrong. I love my job. But I guess, love is really not enough, even in the workplace.

I finally admitted to myself, I am not a superwoman.

I can't do it all.

So there I was, lying on my bed staring at the white ceiling trying to make sense out of the mess in my head, when I suddenly thought of getting my old beaten copy of "Don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff."

I opened the book absentmindedly and landed on this page:

TURN YOUR MELODRAMA INTO A MELLOW-DRAMA

It's like Richard Carlson whacked me right smack on the head. I know my life is not a soap opera so I should not act like it is.

Okay, I've had my time to sulk, feel depressed and be selfish. But I have to remind myself that there are far bigger problems than these and I shouldn't be too self absorbed.

I just need a good night's sleep and tomorrow I can start over. Then I'll figure out what to do with this crazy schedule.

***

And so tomorrow comes.

I started the day early for our scheduled shoot in Calamba, Laguna. Everything went fairly well. But now, I'm back at the office, waiting for my editing schedule to start. God knows, what time I'll go home again tonight.

It's like I'm back to square one.

***

Whenever I feel low, I try to think of happy memories to keep me afloat.

Right now, my favorite memory is our Puerto Galera trip. Three days spent on the beach was heaven.

I wish a genie would appear and whisk me and Kernan off to Boracay.

***

Most comforting message of the day:

Mahal, before nasa situation mo ko, you were always there to support me, ganun din ako sayo ngayon. I'll be more patient and understanding with your sked.

I love you so much.

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