happy...happy thoughts....

i'm trying to think happy.

the past week has been less than great.

amid my production schedule for Lovely Day, i spent over nights calling LA for my Pinoy Abroad story. it was a last-minute assignment, unavoidable but necessary, and i took it nonetheless. there was no one else who would do it.

it was a test of grace under pressure.

what made it difficult was i had to call them during their time, like 7 am - 5 pm there, which is roughly 10 pm - 8 am the next day here. and then i had other things to do during the day until night, and the cycle repeats itself. i was lucky to have 3 hours of sleep. it seemed like a nightmare.

especially when you're all alone working in the cubicle, on a weekend, and you know everybody else is asleep.

it has been very stressful albeit challenging on my part. my time management and stress-suppressing skills were put to a real test.

i'm still trying to balance three assignments til now and so far i'm surviving.

sleepless but surviving.

but i'm going to keep at it until everything works out like a well-oiled machine.

this was my life then

working non-stop for a week made me rethink what i'm doing and if this is what i wanted. even before i was not one to consider rackets considering it's gonna eat a lot of my free time and rob me of precious sleep.

but when i got the offers, i looked at it as a challenge. i didn't see why i couldn't do it. plus, earning extra bucks doesn't sound so bad, right?

ever since i started earning as a writer for our university paper, i have been giving money to my parents. a portion of my first real paycheck as a researcher also went to them. it was not like it was mandated. i just considered it an act of gratitude and support to my family.

our family was not rich when i was growing up.

i remember the good life when we were still living in laguna. kuya and i had lots of toys and matching clothes and shoes. but both of my parents worked, and we would be left at home with yaya.

i even remember how i would cry when my mama would leave the house in the morning and i would desperately plead with her not to go.

and one day, she did not go. she stopped working and she would always be there when i arrived home from school. papa would arrive home from work with pasalubong. and i was happy.

and then, the hard times began. we transferred to manila, moving from one rental house to another. i didn't feel it at first, since i still got pretty much what i wanted. my parents even threw me a party complete with balloons, goldilocks cake, hotdogs, fried chicken and spaghetti for my 7th birthday.

but when i started to become more aware of our money matters and financial status, i realized things weren't the way it was when we were younger.

i would remember how we had to borrow money for me and my brother's tuition and ask relatives to help us buy supplies. examination days would be the time for promisory notes and pakiusap with the teacher.

when my youngest brother was born, things got a little more difficult. we lived in the little-room-with-everything-in-it. i slept in the sofa with the little living room table-slash-dining table at my feet just when every other girl i knew had a room of their own.

i would shy away from conversations about sleep overs or house parties because i knew those are only for people with real houses. and i thought we didn't.

it was a time when jollibee, spaghetti, goldilocks cake, magnolia ice cream and greenwich pizza were only for very special occasions, going to the mall was just for windowshopping, and buying new stuff was just for christmas day.

i would be a silent witness whenever my parents would talk about how they could possibly see us through private school until we graduate from college. i saw how hard they worked so we won't feel deprived and to make us feel that everything was okay.

and since then, i vowed that when i finally had means to earn my own money, i'm going to help my family. it's the only thing i can do to repay all the hardships they went through for me.

it has been several years and we have gone quite a long way since then. life is much more comfortable now. we can go to jollibee and buy greenwich pizza anytime. we can go shopping in the mall. we can eat spaghetti, goldilocks cake, and magnolia ice cream every weekend, if we please.

yes, we're still not rich. we don't live in a mansion or drive fancy cars. but we've got everything we need without having to ask from anybody. i am not ashamed of how we lived before. i am proud that my parents didn't give up on us and sacrificed so much to bring us where we are today.

i will forever be grateful.

now it's my time to work. it's my turn to sacrifice. and i'm going to keep working hard so i could at least give my parents the comfortable life they so deserve.

Rocky

he went out of the comforts of his house and kept me company as i toiled the night away.

he would turn around, raise his head, shake his behind and try to make me laugh just when i was feeling so down.

he made himself so available that everytime i tapped him, he seemed to say 'how can i help you?'

occasionally, he would tap his feet impatiently and slump in despair for lack of attention. but he never left.

he was my constant companion night until morning and kept me from dying of boredom and loneliness.

who am i talking about?

Rocky. and he is the Microsoft Office Assistant.

i got bored with the distracting paperclip Clippit and replaced the image with Rocky. funny how the little animated thing made me feel i wasn't alone during those long overnights.

now he's always standing at the upper corner of my computer screen whenever i'm typing a script or segment treatment. one time, i found the cat Links in his place, i immediately brought Rocky back.

did i say i was born in the year of the Dog? and dogs are all about loyalty.

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