i found my old journal last night

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i flipped through the pages and discovered how much i used to torture myself over things beyond my control.

i was idealistic about a lot of things. i believed in soul mates and destiny. the adage i and my friends often used to comfort ourselves was "if you're meant to be together, you'll end up with each other no matter what."

there was so much drama. a lot of double entendres. a lot of waiting. and waiting.

we spent so much time thinking how "actions could speak louder than words" and figuring out hidden meanings.

there was a lot of dreaming and hoping that one day the stars would grant our wishes and make the ones we love, love us back.

of course, in turn, there was so much disappointment, frustration and confusion. there was so much heartache because we still haven't learned that love can never be forced and no matter how hard we wish, people will not always act the way we want them to.

no chain letter, flames or red candles can give us the love we thought we wanted. i guess every princess has a prince only in fairytales and ladies are swept away by their lords only in movies.

a few years, tears and heartbreaks later made us wiser. or at least, i'd like to think so.

love is not as much a matter of destiny as a matter of choice and commitment. life throws a lot of people our way, we might like them, hate them, ignore them or love them. either way we have a choice.

and when you finally find THE one, it becomes a matter of commitment. you will not always have sparks flying around you, stars in your eyes, or that certain electric feeling you get when you see each other.

when the time comes when familiarity takes over the thrill of attraction, love comes in. and several times, it would be put to the test.

what matters then is how much you value the priceless moments you've spent together and all the good and bad experiences you've shared.

what matters most is your commitment to stand by each other no matter what, and the selfless love you have for one another.


flyingschoolgal said…
broken promises.... shattered dreams....

angel jayme said…
and i'm glad it's all over. getting older, getting wiser and hopefully more hurt-proof.


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