I'M FREE!

finally, i was able to get out of the office for some much needed break. i feel so much better just being able to breathe in a different atmosphere. no deadlines, ringing phones or shoot schedules.

i'm free, at least for awhile.

memories, memories.....

my friend A and i finally got to spend some bonding time. it's been weeks (or months?) since we last had a long talk. i've forgotten how sessions like these do me a lot of good. somehow i feel relaxed and refreshed.

we got to talking about our old Varsi days, memories of our not so recent past. it's always fun to reminisce those good ol' times when we were "young and carefree."

Varsi was a world on its own. i owe much of my wonderful as well as painful experiences to that little world. and that is also where i met most of the people who made a big difference in my life. it has made a part of who i am and i could never imagine life without having gone through the varsi experience.

i remember how the office served as our second home, literally. we would have pillows, blankets, toiletries and mugs in the office for the regular overnight pressworks. we would walk around the office in bedroom slippers wearing pajamas or pambahay. at midnight, we would troop to the only open restroom at the other side of the main building, eyes looking straight and wary of the ghosts that were said to be lurking around.

each of us took turns making the playlist of the night courtesy of mp3s then downloaded from napster. the songs blaring from the computer speakers was our way of keeping awake and inspired especially during those nights "when the words just won't come." but sometimes, those songs carried hidden meanings, as if the lyrics were made to convey "the words we cannot say."

a lot of unrequited love was born in that office. some of it have faded, some have stayed and some still in need of closure.

one of my most favorite places in the office was the dark room. it was the keeper of so many secrets. we often said that if only that room could talk, it could reveal so much emotion and pain than we ever could imagine.

the dark room was my refuge when i wanted to be alone in silence. sometimes, i shared the space with a friend when i badly needed someone to help me understand why love can hurt so much. it was where i cried in times of defeat, frustration and heartbreak. i always left that place feeling a little bit better as if it absorbed some of the pain i was feeling, even if it didn't take all the hurt away.

despite all that, i still miss those times. it was one of the best experiences of my life and i won't trade it for anything. sometimes i wish i could go back.

though i feel there are things which still need closure and some memories still haunt me, i have moved on. and life goes on.

time to make more memories...

Comments

Shirazi said…
Very revealing post. but this happens to every one, one time or the other. No?
Shirazi said…
Your comment on light Within ref: The raational decision would be to leave it behind; forget and move ahead with life?.
arjey said…
i miss you jayme... wish i could see you right now

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