the distress message

"it's 5:30 am. kadadating ko lang sa haus, at 6 am susunduin na ko, hanggang 5 am ang shoot ko, then mag-eedit pa ko ng file video sa gabi, then sa monday 8 am shoot ko uli sa rizal pa. grabe na 'to!"

i read this distress message upon waking up at 10am. and my mahal doesn't usually send messages with exclamation points. there wasn't even an "i love you" at the end. i knew he was so stressed.

i wanted to whack myself in the head for asking him repeatedly last night when we will go out. i mean how inconsiderate can i get? he just said he was busy, but i didn't know it was this busy.

"mahal, i'm sorry it has to be this way. i didn't know your schedule was so hectic. can i help with anything?"

"dat's ok. sobra lang akong pagod na, hindi na ako sanay. then lalo pang lumaki sugat ko sa paa kaya dumagdag sa sakit ng katawan ko."

the other day, he got a small wound in his big toe after he had a pedicure at the corner salon. we've been treating it with betadine for the past days and just last night it looked like it was drying up already. maybe his toe was suffering from the stress as well.

i quickly called him up. "diba kagabi gumagaling na yan?" i asked. "lumaki eh, sige na mahal, magshu-shoot lang ako..."

kernan's working two jobs now that's why he's been running around a lot lately. actually, he's had more than one job ever since we met. he has been living alone since he graduated and he always worked an extra job to pay the bills. he's been managing pretty well and even set aside a large amount of savings.

i am very proud of him and all that he has achieved. i am very proud that he is so driven and determined in his career. and i am thankful because i know that, when the time comes, i'll have a reliable husband who can help me build a comfortable life for our family.

but, it is during these times that i strongly feel he is pushing himself too hard. i'm worried that one day he'll get sick which will make things even harder. i'm worried that when he gets older, he will be made to pay for all the abuses he did to his body.

he's feeling okay now, he said. he just needs to sleep, that's why i'm just gonna let him rest tonight. our date can wait for another day.

i hope he'll feel better tomorrow.

my head is spinning

i've been transcribing tapes since 1 pm and i'm not feeling too good. i have to produce three stories for this week's episode and i feel quite daunted.

not that it's hard. it's just that it can really squeeze the juice out of your head, you'll feel like your brain has been reduced one size after finishing everything.

ok maybe, i'm exaggerating. i just feel crappy today.

have you ever experienced feeling like you're sick even if you're not really sick? it's like you feel what someone close to you is feeling, kinda like twins.

i think i feel sick because my mahal is not feeling well. weird huh?

i remember watching this show when i was a kid, i think its title was "strange but true."
one of their stories, showed two siblings who live far away from each other. their only link was a starfish they had as a pet. one day, one sibling got sick and the other sensed it when he saw the starfish making strange motions.

one story i read was about a father who suddenly felt a sharp pain in his chest. he couldn't explain how and why he felt it because he wasn't sick at all. later on, he found out that he felt it the same time that his son was suffering a heart attack.

another story i read told of a man who was buried alive under debris during a construction accident. he ventured on the site alone so nobody else was around to help him. he kept shouting and pleading for help to no avail.

meanwhile, his friend was driving on his way home, when he suddenly felt the urge to go to the construction site. he couldn't explain it because he absolutely did not intend to go there that day and had no reason to. but he listened to his instincts and sure enough he saw the accident and was able to rescue his friend from sure suffocation.

as it turned out, the man who was buried sent distres signals to his friend by thinking about him and fervently praying that he would come rescue him.

isn't it amazing how a strong connection between two people work? our minds and hearts can have such a powerful influence on the things and people around us.

one day if people around the world, whatever their race, sex or religion, would come together, pray, put their minds and hearts into bringing love and peace into the world, the combined power of our minds and hearts can actually make our world a better place.

life would be so much more wonderful.

i wish.


Anonymous said…
well, you know there is some truth ata dyan... because even if rob doesn't tell me what's bothering him. I know agad. Alam mo yung biglaan n lng. I guess that happens when you really connect with that person - like you and kernan...

pahinga muna jayme, wag abusuhin ang katawan... hehe

miss our email correspondences girl. wala lng..

angel jayme said…
wish ko lang makapahinga ako. like at this moment, i'm still at the office typing scripts.

out of 3, isa pa lang ang nasusulat ko. waaahhh....this is gonna be a long night.

maraming salamat sa laging pagbisita.

ikaw rin ingat lagi.

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